Words Of Chaos... - Poison and Wine
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Poison and Wine
So Friday I saw Breaking Dawn part 2 ... and freaking cried. I am such a baby. So to forget about the franchise and not be sad I have thrown myself into Buffy (More so than I already had been) and True Blood. And this was born. Sad, fluffy it's got it all.

Poison and Wine
word count 902
During season 5 the end of Fool for Love

“Buffy, the nothing I’ve been dealing with the last few weeks… it might be something.”

Her mother was using all the technical terms, telling Buffy she didn’t have to worry. That she was just going to stay overnight at the hospital for more tests. She tried to reassure her daughter but all Buffy could comprehend was this is a ‘death sentence.’

Scattered fragments swirled in her mind. Her brain only picking up key words and not the whole conversation. Only getting the most terrible of the news.

It was incomprehensible.



It was overwhelming her, suffocating her with their finality.

The room started to close in on her and she couldn’t breathe. Her vision blurred and hot tears slipped down her face. She covered her mouth with her hand to stifle the sob that wanted to come tearing out.

I have to get out, she thought and flung open the back door. The dark of the night beckoned her and she sat down on her back porch, welcoming it.

How is this happening? Now? With Glory and the key and god damn it I am the slayer! This should not be happening to us! Not my mom. Please God not my mom! I need her, Dawn needs her. Please … oh please!

Buffy put her face in her hands and cried. Her silent sobs shaking her body. She pulled her knees in tight and tried to curl up, wanting to protect herself. Wanting to shut this all out. She heard a rustling in the bushes and didn’t think anything of it. Her tears consuming her. It wasn’t until she heard the cocking of the shotgun that she finally looked up.

“What do you want now?” she spat at the blond vampire in front of her.

Spike stood twenty feet in front of her, his shot gun poised and aimed right at her. He had been hell bent on killing her, his intent crystal clear on his face.  One look at the tears overflowing in her eyes made him pause. Her cheeks were stained with her tears, her shoulders slightly shaking from the force of her crying. He locked eyes with her and all murderous thoughts went right out of him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked her, his voice soft.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she answered.

“Is there something I can do?”

Spike saw the surprise on Buffy’s face and he cocked his head at her. She turned away from him, not answering his question and wishing her tears away.

Taking a deep breath he approached her and sat down next to her on the step. She could feel his eyes on her, compassion flowing out of him in waves.

She couldn’t look at him.

This was Spike after all. He wasn’t supposed to have feelings and …sympathy. And yet he did.

A shock went through her body as his cool hand patted her back.  She wanted to cringe away from him but she didn’t… she couldn’t.

He’s trying to make me feel better? she asked herself.

He removed his hand and she expected him to make some smart ass retort or to leave, but he did neither. He just sat next to her, not talking, not expecting anything.

This meant more to her than she would ever admit. He was the last person she expected comfort from. Especially after what she had said to him earlier, but here he was.

Next to her.

You’re beneath me.

Inwardly she cringed. It was she who was beneath him. She had no right to accept his compassion but she was sucking it up like a leech. She needed it and thankfully he knew that. He didn’t taunt her, or smirk.

His scent of cigarettes, leather and just Spike surrounded her. It comforted her like her favorite blanket, covering and protecting her. Like a good book and scented candles on a cold rainy autumn day.

She inched closer to him without even realizing it. Wanting more of the solace he was more than willing to share with her.

If Spike was surprised he didn’t show it. He sat as still as he could, waiting to see what she would do.

Her shoulder brushed against his and she sighed softly. The sound was music to his ears and he gently pressed his shoulder against hers.

“Thank you,” she told him sincerely, reaching out and touching her fingers to his. She played her hand against his, her warmth against his cool. A tingle flowed through their tips as their hands interlocked.

He nodded at her and squeezed her hand in his.

Wanting this … needing it just as much as she did.

Time seemed to stop for them as they sat there, in comforting silence, their hands clutched tightly.

Inside her house was hard, it was sad. It was entirely too overwhelming.

It was reality slamming her in the face.

But outside it was perfect, she felt protected and as though she could take on anything. Even the evil hell god Glory. Nothing mattered out here, everything was on the back burner. Her life, her family, her problems. It was like the world paused all around them. All that existed were the slayer and her vampire.

There was nowhere she would rather be.

Here on the porch, in the glimmering moonlight with Spike was exactly where she belonged.

And as Buffy realized that, Spike smiled.

Current Location: home
General Spikeyness: determined determined
Current Music: Poison and Wine by the Civil Wars

slaymesoftly From: slaymesoftly Date: November 19th, 2012 01:50 am (UTC) (Link)
What a lovely "what if" for that episode. We really don't know what happened after he patted her on the back. Could have been this!
jerzeyanjel From: jerzeyanjel Date: November 19th, 2012 01:54 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! I always wanted to write about this and finally I did it. I like the "what if" universe. So many different things could happen! =)
velvetwhip From: velvetwhip Date: November 19th, 2012 03:54 am (UTC) (Link)
This is terrific. In fact, I think it's one of the best things by you I've ever read. Brava! I think it's believable and touching and really effective!

jerzeyanjel From: jerzeyanjel Date: November 19th, 2012 12:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wow thank you Gabrielle! You have no idea how much what you said means to me. You are soo sweet and I adores ya! Thank you!!! :: hugs ::
waddiwasiwitch From: waddiwasiwitch Date: November 19th, 2012 09:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
*sniffle* This was lovely.
jerzeyanjel From: jerzeyanjel Date: November 21st, 2012 03:32 am (UTC) (Link)
Awe thank you hun! :: hugs ::
kikimay From: kikimay Date: November 21st, 2012 11:41 am (UTC) (Link)
Very touching. Oh poor Buffy! ç__ç
7 fallen stars or Stars Fall
Name: jerzeyanjel
Website: Lost In Spike
Back April 2014
I Won't Give Up
** I Won't Give Up **
by Jason Mraz

When I look
Into your eyes
It's like watching
The night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like
Them old stars
I see that
You've come so far
To be right
Where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the
Skies get rough
I'm giving you
All my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're
Needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here
Patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars
They burn
Some even fall
To the earth
We've got a lot
To learn
No, I won't give up

I don't want to be
Someone who walks away
So easily
I'm here to stay and
Make the difference
That I can make
Our differences they do
A lot to teach us
How to use the tools
And gifts we got
Yeah, we got a lot
At stake and in the end
You're still my friend
At least we did intend
For us to work
We didn't break,
We didn't burn
We had to learn
How to bend without
The world caving in
I had to learn
What I've got,
And what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies
Get rough
I'm giving you
All my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up

I won't give up on us
(No I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm
Tough enough
(I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a
Lot to learn
(We're alive,
we are loved)
God knows we're worth it
(and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the
Skies get rough
I'm giving you
All my love
I'm still looking up

Spuffy Wall

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